Purify your hearts NOW

I know it may sound like just pretty words or New Age "woo-woo" to tell people to purify their hearts. To open your heart and let God in. Like, what does that even mean? But it's so important to learn how to do this RIGHT NOW. Why? God wants to know your heart. We don't know how long we have, and we need to take these opportunities of sorrow to show what's inside our hearts to God. When life breaks our hearts open, it exposes the inner workings of our hearts for God to see. It's like our own resume--our curriculum vitae, if you will, of our capacity to Love. It's how God can assess how much and how deeply we have loved. The hard part is letting God peek inside when we are hurting. Our natural reaction is often to push away. We don't want to let him close and sometimes even begin to lose our faith in times of loss or grief. We question, "Why?". Well, technically, this is why. If you have suffered a lot in your life, one could argue that God loves you especially. Because he wants to keep looking into your heart and wants to be close to you. This isn't an easy thing to accept. Especially when we lose those we love. Our final judgment can come at any time, and we should be prepared. My hope is that you hurt. I hope you hurt because it means you have really loved. I hope that you are able to open up and let God in to peer into all the corners and cracks of your heart, leaving no dark spaces uncovered, and that all is visible. Let him see the vulnerability and pain--let him see the blood and the vessels and sinewy tissues inside. Let all be exposed. In this way, we purify our hearts.

For the first time, I intentionally opened my heart to God while in the midst of suffering and loss. These past several months have certainly been strange for me. There was a succession of deaths following my mother's recovery and part of me can't help but wonder if it's some sort of universal law of energy exchange where reality demanded a sacrifice after pulling her away from the precipice of death. Does this happen? I could definitely feel God's hand in my mother's miraculous healings, and I just wonder, since energy cannot be created or destroyed in this physical world, if it had to be borrowed. We can't take a patch away from the fabric of reality and leave a hole, nor can we sew fabric on top of the fabric. I hope this idea doesn't sound occultish or too "Dr. Quantum" lol. But the number of losses in the timeframe of the past few months is just highly improbable, statistically speaking. 

I haven't gone into too many details about my mother's condition before, and I'm still not sure I want to at this time, but she has endured so much. Perhaps part of her being saved was a chance to truly purify her own heart, and mine, as this whole experience brought me back to my Catholic faith, and that had an impact on her, resurrecting her own faith as well. As long as there is breath in our lungs, there's still a chance.