Today I meditated again for the first time in quite a while. I saw from above, myself, and all of my past incarnations (7 to be exact) all lined up, and I tried to gather fragments of my soul. I didn't understand why my soul was so pained and aching with a tragic guttural yearning--Why I was so tormented. Like I was missing something and I felt it had to do with a great lover. I picked up a tiny little self from a previous incarnation. She was so angry and so distraught. "Why are you so so sad?" I asked. "Why don't you love me?!" She wailed.
What I didn't know was that it was the love of God that I was yearning for. I felt abandoned. I felt that God didn't love me anymore. "Love me!", I cried. "Why don't you love me?!" Tears rolled from my eyes as I realized this is what I had been carrying with me throughout time and incarnations.
The love of God had never left me though. I have always been loved. I just forgot how to listen.
