Making Movies for God

I just wanted to share this because it's so cute. God writes little love letters to me, and I write little love letters back... it's adorable. I'm really grateful because I had been feeling drained and rather depressed. I'd been having feelings of despair lately in my heart and was unsure of what step to take next.

Today God spoke clearly to me. I was in the same section of the bookstore where he spoke to me clearly once before (I talk about that HERE)--In the religion section, literally right under C.S. Lewis' books. This section is like an oracle now! Haha. If I want clear answers, I should just go there and ask God my question.

For some background, I originally majored in film production in college, focusing on screenwriting and directing. Life led me down a different path, though, where I was focusing on health and healing of the physical body (as a massage therapist, health and wellness counselor, and most recently working at a rehab facility doing recreational therapy with elderly dementia residents.) But my heart has been pulling me back to the creative arts. I've been considering whether I should pursue more "logical" endeavors or go back to filmmaking. 

As I was browsing the religion section of the bookstore, a book stuck out to me again (just like last time). The title was: "Making Movies" by Sidney Lumet. It didn't even belong in that section! I picked it up to see if maybe it intertwined the analogy of filmmaking with religion, but it was literally a book on filmmaking. I looked through it, and I ended up buying the book because it was actually a pretty good, well-rounded one on filmmaking! (I also bought Albert Camus' "The Myth of Sisyphus" because I've been meaning to read that for a long time. ANYWAY, I was super inspired, not only to start getting back into my passion of filmmaking and screenwriting, but it also gave me an idea about how filmmaking actually IS related to God. I'm super excited and passionate about this, so excuse me while I nerd out here and draw parallels between God and film.

We are literally making movies for God.

God shines his Light (Love) into us, and it shines through our action images, by means of our bodies (or a projector), outward onto a "screen" (life). The human soul plays out a unique film of God's Love.

I wrote this short bit of prose about the analogy of God's Love and a film projector a while back, (Now it's all clicking together!):

The soul is shown clearly

when held up to a mirror (others)

Reflecting God's light-- 

through our action images.

Like images on a film reel, 

unique to each created being. 

God's light of love shines into us;

We reflect his light onto others  

and like a projector,

We use that light to make "Love" manifest.

Our souls are constantly playing out our version of Love

through a lens

on the screen which is without

and we call the screen life.

God can see our nature--

His own light being made into a new unique art--our dynamic souls

What a delight it must be

to see

Your creation discovering You.

~

Our lives can be seen as a screenplay with a three-act structure. 

I think God enjoys a story of a Hero's Journey just as much as we do. If you're not familiar with The Hero's Journey, it's an archetypal narrative structure found in stories from all around the world, first introduced by Joseph Campbell in his book "The Hero with a Thousand Faces". This fundamental monomyth structure is found in countless stories from Jesus' story to Star Wars to The Matrix and Harry Potter. I remember studying Campbell's structure when I took screenwriting classes in college. We all like watching characters overcome and go through a transformation. Before they come to a transformation though, they must first be called to adventure (in our case following Christ) and then the second step is the refusal of the call (this is maybe where we fall and succumb to sin). Some of the other steps include trials/friends/foes, a moment of despair and ultimately a resurrection of the hero and their return/rebirth.

You may be thinking that your life cannot be a movie for God because maybe you feel a little too broken. But every Hero has wounds. Otherwise, the character would not be relatable, and we wouldn't love them. Realize that God loves you, not despite your wounds, but because of them and he yearns for your need. He also delights in your ability to overcome, to bring the elixir or knowledge which is the true reward of your journey and transformation, and to finally return home.

Make your life an epic adventure... the best Love story ever. Discover how you fit into this theological play that we are all so deeply written into. Our essences yearn to be one with the grand Love Story. Get out there and start shooting. Make an amazing Movie for God.

A Prayer for Trust and Understanding

Father in Heaven,

Help me to Love you as you deserve to be loved. I don't know if my faith is strong enough. There is joy, but punctuated by periods of sobbing on my knees, as I sometimes can't feel you. I often wonder if my moments of consolation and hearing your voice whisper to me were nothing more than hopeful imaginings, happenstance, or even insanity. I try to hold on to that certainty that seems so hard to keep a grasp of; like sand running through my fingers. I hear the Word, but I want to feel it deeper. I understand intellectually the catechism, the theology of the body, the transubstantiation of your body that you lovingly sacrificed, all the words strung together that attempt to define the fierce, consuming fire of your Love. But I want to KNOW that you alone suffice. That only you can satisfy. I need to really believe this. God help me, I want that to be enough. I drill it into my head and heart; thinking maybe others know something that I do not. That they've been struck just right on the head or in their heart to get it. Maybe I get it more than I think I do. Maybe this is precisely what it is happening when you test my faith. Help me to TRUST in you, Lord. And in your plan for me. I stand before you truly naked, with my heart wide open for you. Open me up in my hurt and sufferings and peer into all the corners and cracks of my heart, leaving no dark spaces uncovered. All is visible to you. See the vulnerability and pain--the blood and the vessels and sinewy tissues inside. May all be exposed. Purify my heart and ready me for eternal Union with you. I love you and I yearn for understanding. I yearn for you. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Restored Old Blog Theme

I restored an old blog theme and some settings are a bit messed up... so my blog is under construction! 

All the blogs are still here, but the entire posts are all showing in the feed which is annoying, and I can't seem to switch it to show a brief synoptic view on the web version with this customized theme. Grr. 

Too tired. Must sleep.

The Beauty of Obedience

8/15/23

(Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary)

The Beauty of Obedience

Reflecting on the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary, I keep thinking of a particular woman I saw at mass last week. After receiving the Eucharist and finishing my prayer, a woman in a white chapel veil caught my eye as she was approaching the altar in the communion line. She was absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I couldn't help but stare and it was difficult to pull my gaze away from her. I wasn't looking at her in a lustful way--gracious no. But I realized, it wasn't her physical beauty that was striking. As she slowly advanced toward Christ at the altar, her big wide eyes were fixed unwaveringly on Jesus with awe, Love, reverence, humility and obedience. It was absolutely gorgeous. I very rarely see women wearing veils during the regular English mass, and I never really knew the full significance before. Besides it being a symbol of humility, wearing a veil is also a devotion to Mary. It's a way of emulating her as she is the archetype of humility and purity. I've been thinking about this woman all week and wondering what it is that touched my heart. I want to say "yes" like that! With the same obedient adoration and unwavering focus. If only we could all emulate Mary’s continual “yes” to God. How beautiful is the gift of true obedience to the Lord!!!

CIY DAY 221

Today's CIY leads me further into softening my heart. It gives me more understanding, too, relating to the question I posted the other day in the Catechism in a Year Facebook group  about the band-aid (mentioned in day 216).

“Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good.”[119] —St. John Chrysostom

To take that a little further, here's an excerpt from Christopher West's "Theology of the Body for Beginners":

"By abstaining from sexual union, celibates demonstrate the great value of sexual union. How so? A sacrifice only has value to the degree that the thing sacrificed has value."

(Read that again.) Lol I hate when people say, "Read that again". It seems so rude, but it's worth doing in this case!

To say that giving up something shows its value may seem paradoxical, but what good is giving up kale for lent if you don't like kale? There would be no value in that. Since sex is SO GOOD, it means a lot more when it is sacrificed for something that is even MORE GOOD. Giving something up, like sexual union, shows its value.

I get it. It can be a hard pill to swallow because of my own weakness and attachments, as I was one of those who would think, "How could someone be happy without a sexual relationship?". It's still hard to understand fully in my heart, to be honest, but it's not my calling to sacrifice in that way. I think if someone CAN do that... Wow. What a gift to be able to give. It's also the reason why marriage is not an answer necessarily for priests. It is a choice to be entered into, not a punishment. Assuming they are in the priesthood for the right reasons and not to escape something in their lives or run from inadequacies or to stifle perversions (which would only crop up again later anyway) —assuming they are receiving it with joy and love, this is the highest form of sincere self-gift. It is the fruitful living out of the redemption of sexual desire. 

Here's a helpful prayer from chapter 5 of West's book:

"Dear God, whether you call us to marriage or celibacy, help us to give ourselves wholly to you first of all, and then to each other as a self-gift. Teach us how to direct our erotic desires according to your design so we are aimed at our true destiny—eternal union with you. Amen.”

Attached below are some more beautiful quotes I highlighted in Christopher West’s TOB for Beginners.

I implore everyone to read more about Theology of the Body. John Paul II’s examination of the Song of Songs and the talks he gave on human Love in God’s divine plan makes it clear how good marriage and sexual union really is and how important our bodies are in telling the story of God’s Love. With the way society is today, it’s now more important than ever to spread the message of TOB.