Saturday, February 22, 2025

A Prayer for Blessings Upon Myself

For a long time, I had been allowing things to block me from receiving blessings and what is truly meant for me. I neglected loving myself... and when in prayer, I neglected asking the Lord for blessings upon myself and my life. I recently have been learning true surrender and detachment (without being cold or stoic).

I put up a lot of resistance at first, especially since I have a tendency towards anxiousness and wanting to control outcomes. But recently it's become easier for me. I feel that when you're present and live from the heart, there's no need for control because you exist with God in his love... the opposite of stress and worry... and move forward effortlessly in His flow.

This life is hard. Healing takes time and courage to change.

In prayer lately, I have been asking for specific blessings, and for the Lord to bless my body and what I use my body for... ultimately to glorify Him.

I know I deserve good things.

Lord bless my feet, that I may walk with purpose and connect with the earth and the goodness that you have created. That I may place complete trust in you as I move forward within your will.

Bless my womb and sexual organs, that they may be healthy and fruitful, ordered toward their design. That my desires and what I create may be in order with your will. May I desire what you desire for me.

Bless my stomach and digestive organs, that they may be healthy and work according to their design. That any dysfunction may be healed and balanced and may I love myself so that I do not hold fear or shame in this area in the form of weight. 

Lord bless my heart. That I may keep it open and love you, others and myself freely. May my heart function normally and in healthy balance, keeping my cardiovascular system functioning well and keeping my body alive. Fill my spiritual heart with gratitude every day, and with peace so that I can share your joy and healing with others.

Bless my throat and my mouth Lord. That I may speak truth and love. That I express myself clearly and only speak good things upon others. Keep my throat and mouth healthy. Keep my thyroid gland balanced and well. Heal dysfunction in my cervical spine and heal that area from chronic pain.

Bless my eyes, that I may see through your eyes. Grant me the grace of the Holy Spirit to see with spiritual eyes and see things as you see them. To see others through your eyes and to see situations and things in this world in your ways, not the world's ways. Grant me spiritual vision and the foresight to make wise choices. Keep my physical eyes healthy and well.

Bless my mind and my brain. Protect my mind (and heart) Lord, and keep my thoughts holy and pure, with no negative thoughts of others. Allow me to think positive thoughts and not negative thoughts. Allow me not to dwell or ruminate or catastrophize. Keep my mind from being addicted to negative thoughts and patterns. Deliver me from the addictions of anxiety and depression. Deliver me from wanting to control outcomes. Plant thoughts of hope and a positive vision of myself, my life and my future. Bless me with awareness to stop feeding the thoughts that damage me.

Lord bless the space around me. May it be holy and surround me with your golden healing light.

May those that I encounter be blessed by this light and may it shine upon them, directing them to you.

Lord I thank you for this day. For this life. For this opportunity to ask for blessings.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I love you.

Amen.

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

This Month's Word is "SURRENDER"

Last month, my word that the Lord laid on my heart to focus on was "Hope". Now I am being called to practice surrender.

Something that many of us do is cling on tightly to the way we want things to be. We try to exert our control over circumstances and outcomes and people more often that we would like to admit. Control is something I struggle with, and while it's something that I try to have over things, what actually ends up happening is that I have a lack of control DUE to my trying to control it. Ironic, but that's how it works. And that is why learning surrender is so important. This lack of control over the thoughts that create unpleasant feelings are actually indicative of an undisciplined mind.

For several days over the past week, I found myself in a very dark place mentally and I felt the spirits of hopelessness, fear, depression and desperation seeping into the cracks of my foundation. I had been praying prayers of deliverance for someone else, and it almost felt like a direct attack the way it hit me. 

I've been telling myself these stories and believing them for a while deep down. I just never had the discipline to rewrite these stories and start feeling the feelings I'd RATHER feel so that I could be more receptive to the good things I actually want in my life. After those few days that were particularly difficult, what made me pivot in my thinking was one significant moment when I was lying in bed feeling horrible and thinking about past memories, catastrophizing about the future and believing untrue realities about the present. 

Suddenly, I realized and said out loud to myself, "I don't like the way I feel right now!"

And so, I stopped and started feeling the way I'd rather feel, even if I had to create a delulu scenario just to feel that feeling.

I know it's starting to sound like woo-woo manifestation stuff now, but there definitely is some deep truth to all of it as far as what you believe being so important. What I was choosing to believe and the reaction my body was having to the terrifying thoughts was no different than choosing to watch a horror movie and feel your heart race during the scary jump scenes as if it was really happening to you. Your body still registered a threat and believed it was real, even though you were sitting there immersed in a fictional movie.

Be very careful about what you choose to believe.

Do not control like trying to grasp tightly onto Jell-O... Be soft and receptive. Believe the things you want and then you'll feel the associated feelings, and then things in your life will have to follow suit and align with the person that you are.

I'm going to work more deeply on surrendering in my life. And every time I feel a need to control something, I need to remind myself to relax and let it be, because what is for me will come when I release my grip and settle into a state of BEING.

Stop. Breathe. Surrender. (Repeat, repeat, repeat.)