2. Oatmeal Creme Pies
Love letters and Oatmeal Creme Pies
Pinholes of violet light in the corners of my eyes
Letting me know the angels were near
Little nods that only my soul could hear
In the dark, you held me
Calling like a wind inside the cracks of my heart
Yearning for my need
I'm sorry
I know you knocked
I wasn't ready to hear
Now I feel a trembling
from the ethers to my bones
Calling me louder than ever before
I can't be afraid
I can't turn around
The time is coming, the time is now
Love letters and Oatmeal Creme Pies
Pinholes of violet light in the corners of my eyes
Letting me know the angels were near
Little nods that only my heart could hear
3. Untitled
For what an evil creature am I
To want pluck the sun from the sky
After illuminating my path
Because I want to call it mine?
Can I feel the warmth but not get burned
Can I watch the flowers bloom
Whose petals his rays made brightly flourish
Nay— the evil one tells lies to me of my intention
That I am not pure, that my petals are fake and fraudulent
Still, I remain steadfast
Starve my flesh to drown the liar’s murmurs
All I have is all I need
I have Him
And that’s enough
4.
Heart of my Heart
Does yours break for me too?
Mold my heart to be like yours
Show me how to love like you
To see all of your creations
through your eyes
and forgive them their darkness
Show me how to peer inside
My darkest parts
Until I find the fire
Unafraid to let it burn
in all its glory, all its rage
all my bruised insides ablaze
Crack open
The deepest, blackest, most calcified secret truth
to find the light shining brightly through
I now know, you didn't leave me alone in my desperation
I now know, it pained you as I cried until I was breathless
You just wanted to breathe into me
Your life, your blood, your light
Flesh of my flesh
You bled for ME--
Your reason, your destiny
Will I come to know my heart
If I seek to know yours?
I sought so hard to find a soul similar to my own...
Searching for mirrors
Always finding my shadow
Now I search for you
Oneness
Erase my mental fictions of you
Fill me with your breath
Nail my ego to the cross
and I can die my first death
5. Chewing
Consume, consume, consume
Constant noise
Drowning out your voice
Afraid of silence
Gorging on junk food
in their mouths, in their hearts, in their beds
junk food love and junk food sex
Junk food on their TV sets
To fill the holes
They fill the air with their sound of chewing
instead of the sound of their own hearts
instead of hearing yours
Please fill them so they are no longer hungering
They know not what they truly hunger for
Let them know you
So the chewing stops
😁
6. (On Love...)
Love is not an emotion
Love is a driver
Love is the armor of God against principalities and power
It eradicates wickedness in an instant.
Love overrides emotions
and is the one aspect of God we can embody as humans
Love is not hesitant sacrifice
Love is what you DO, when fear is great--
it MOVES you
not necessarily out of fear (it is still there)
but despite it--beyond it and its stronghold, acting outside of it, for another
Love would lay down and die for another
Love does not have anything to prove, anything to show for
Love grips you and carries you through when you have nothing else to hold on to
Love defies words
Love believes in the future of another
Love frees
Love does not hold
Love Protects, under the wing of God, and lets the heart of another be opened
Love doesn't fill the holes or the cracks
nor does it try to possess
Love lets the wound bleed
but weeps for it has bled
and takes the blood into itself to make a gift, given anew
Love makes blood into roses
Love knows no rulers and leaves peace in its wake
Love does all, to stand
7. "Nehara"
With your soft heart, a faulty spine
Your name is written in the book
To show God writes straight with crooked lines
You make the Devil turn and look
To God the Father, you always did belong
Your light was too bright to be concealed
When sleep escapes, I'll call your name and sing your song
The truth will always be revealed
I'll send you riddles in a language you know not
A mystery to unfold
So you'll know it's not from your own thoughts
Surround you with my healing light of gold
Prick your vision with pinholes of violet light
Letting you know the angels are near
Even in your darkest nights
Have you an ear to hear--I'm here!
When the eidolons are swarming
and waiting at the gates
may you know the intimacy of my heart's warming
and fear not the demons' hate
Call upon my name, sweet child of my heart
Come to me on bended knee
I will burn with fire all that's dark
My love will set you free
Within I, you... and within you, I reside
Proclaim my name--Jesus Christ the King!
From me thou shall not hide
Filled with ineffable joy; Remember: Love everything
8. "Golden Milk"
Dear God,
I stumbled yesterday.
I turned and looked the other way
Hoping you would look away too
Just this once, just for a while
To quell the tempestuous waters below
I still need your help
I wish to be worthy
I cry for your mercy
I long for the heat of your love to linger in my heart
and overflow with a glow of liquid light
Coating my insides so I don't feel pain
Purify me
with Golden Milk
Sweet and warm like turmeric, honey and spices
I want to feel it in my bones
So deeply within me
I yearn for your healing
Inhabit my entire being
Until I know the one
whose soul can come into my own soul
and mine into theirs
My body and soul are hungry
Until then
Hold me, safe and tenderly
Immerse my heart in Golden Milk
9. Yes
God planted in my belly a seed of joy
Long ago, in a dream
Never had I desired such fruit
But this;
Immaculate miracle
Contained such wild bliss--
All of being contained within.
The highest, sweetest, purest truth.
A light shining from the inside.
I smiled the most genuine smile from my heart
And the comfort lingered long after;
A reminder of the joy of our blessed mother.
Unspeakable happiness.
The receptive soul is fertile ground
We all await the Perfected Love--within us--Eternal Birth
In our innermost recesses
How wondrous a gift
To simply say "Yes".
10. To Know the Soul
Part 1 - The Eternal Dance
To know God's essence
Is to know your own soul's essence
Not known in thinking--
Remembered,
in dancing
To your soul's unique song of Love,
Which only God knows.
A trumpet sounds
Without words
You take his hand...
Yielding to Him
in this Eternal Dance.
"Remember who you really are."
--(Inspired, in part, by one of my first visions, where I danced with Jesus)
11. To Know the Soul
Part 2 - The soul plays out a silent film of God's love
The soul is shown clearly
when held up to a mirror (others)
Reflecting God's light--
through our action images.
Like images on a film reel,
unique to each created being.
God's light of love shines into us
We reflect his light onto others
and like a projector,
We use that light to make "Love" manifest.
Our souls are constantly playing out our version of Love
through a lens
on the screen which is without
and we call the screen life.
God can see our nature--
His own light being made into a new unique art--our dynamic souls
What a delight it must be
to see
Your creation discovering You
12. Where is Love?
At the core of everything is Love
Ask not "WHAT is Love?", but instead ask,
"WHERE is Love?"
The human soul is Love
It is within
but our vision becomes fixed away from this inner ground
On that which is without
and we become removed from Love
and we think of God as being outside
and we talk to him outside of us
and we try to catch him
We put a shield of glass between ourselves and God,
from inside a cage, trying to find God
We are putting God in a cage as well
But that is not where our soul resides
That is not where God resides.
Not where Love resides
Where is Love?
It's not in the mind
Not even in your contemplations
Love is found in a motion and in something given.
Love can be seen, if you look close, when you're yielding
13. Sanctity (My soul, not "I")
My soul, not "I", wants for nothing creaturely
but yearns for oneness with Eternity.
Hasten to me, Lord!
I leave behind all earthly things and creature-love
Fill me with your Holy Spirit
Allow me to suffer with you the sweet pangs of suffering
Never shall I forget what it feels like.
Grant me humility in this gift, but not under other creatures
And lift me up to where your divine Love is
Keep me clear of the divinations of all men
Free me from my imaginations and entanglements
So that I can gaze upon YOU
Truly You, within my heart
I desire you.
My soul, not "I", has seen me as you see me, from Eternity
As I've been, as I am, and how I will be
You've heard my prayers of yesterday and today
know of the tears I'll cry tomorrow
know of my trials and tribulations, and which ones I will overcome
The tests offered to me to prove my soul
Allow me not to lose sight of your divinity
for fear that I will be left
Down here in the dust and mud, bereft
of eternal salvation
Without your light I'm a dark, hollow vessel
Without your breath I'm as good as ash
My soul, not "I" yearns for eternal unity with the Uncreated
Come hither to me!
Purify me with your grace
Empty me of every earthly thing
To be as close to you in your immovable sanctity as I can be
The highest ideal of Me
That existed in You, before all of creation
May I not waver
But let me receive you
Lord, ready my heart for the highest
And seek thou rest in my sanctified heart.
14. Angel
Be a guardian Angel
Be the one to catch someone's fall
You never really know
If they have anyone at all.
Lean in and listen
Make them feel loved and heard
Our days are not promised
Speak to the human soul with kind words.
Put yourself in the shoes of someone in need
Don't delegate kindness to someone else's hands
Even if your hands are bleeding
When you see their boat is sinking, carry them safe to land.
Always give love
And for the weak, be their strength
If someone is wilted and bereft of life
Be the one who would give all of your breath
An angel will watch over God's children
Needing nothing but God's love
Expecting nothing in return
Alone on Earth, but awaiting union with God above
15.
Out of time and out of space
I split my side
to see a sliver of your face
Tethered to your rose
Tethered to your thorn
I take your blood into me
Through my blood you are born
as I through you
I knew then, but was not awakened
You spoke but I didn't hear
This unspeakable void that gave birth to the stars
Is the eternal womb
continually birthing creation
over and over
I drink you and desire you within me
Never to part
Come, come soon
Heart of my heart
16.
"May your will be done in my life. Do with me as you will. What do you want me to do?"
"Daughter... what do YOU want?"
The highest love on Earth, that will lead me on the path to the highest love, with You, in heaven.
None of it matters but love
To love here is to practice loving you in eternity!
I cannot "find" love--
no one creature is the perfected love that is you--
I want simply TO love.
I want to love someone who allows me to love in the same way I desire to love You--
My partner in heaven.
Help me discern
When there is a veil concealing my inner knowing like a dark cloud
Who will protect my fragile heart
Like a tiny jewel
containing all of creation inside.
Ready my heart for loving you now,
Prepare me for the oneness to come
Finally, when that day arrives, the glory will be immeasurable
No longer split
Our mended heart finally at peace, as one.
"Then, my daughter, give your desire to me. Surrender your wanting, and all will be yours, and more."
17. The Knowing
Look at me
Really look at me
in my nakedness and see
that I am a child of God
See my worth
as I stand before you
As I am
Shall you want to possess or take for yourself
Reduce me to an object for your use?
I refuse to feel shame
Observe God...
In the splendor of my unabashed femininity
spreading before you
Do you see all of creation in my eyes
being birthed into being
Can you see the Pleiades shining back at you
My heart is on fire
Come and bask in the warmth
Rest your head underneath my wing
Let your belly rise and fall
as you breathe me
and I breathe you
Share with me your divine mouth
Taste me
as my essence fills you
Take my spirit in and I am revealed
what was veiled in secrecy
Finally pours out of me
in this blessed sacrament
This, I desire
Not desire itself
I desire the knowing
Will you help me know God too?
Come, my mouth thirsts, let me know you
Help us open our eyes
to His sweet divinity
18. My Love, Outside of Time
I had a vision tonight while trying to sleep and wrote this poem below. I understood from a perspective of timelessness, my purpose here right now… Part of it is to connect my heart to Christ, at the time of his passion, from here. Perhaps it is part of all of our purpose to do this at some point. Whenever it is.. the time is still perfect, because God exists outside of time. However, Jesus no longer is suffering in eternity, because he already did what he needed to do (“It is done”), but it was done so I (we) can be here.. and he can feel us. (I finished editing this at 3:16 👀)
(I saw a vision of Mary
Split open down the center
Pages with written words
Could be seen inside
Symbolizing her carrying the Word within her.)
And then I saw you…
My Love, Outside of Time
I am here, my love, outside of time
Comforting you in the hour of your passion
You knew your fate
But you had to clear a path of light
For us all to be born
So I could look upon you now
My love, outside of time
As you were then
And console you through your tears
You were scared, as am I
Your heart bled, as does mine
I want to take your pain away
But you must go
So I can be here now to take your hand
I can see it now, soft and slender
I clasp the air
and know you feel my heart
My love, outside of time
You came to me in dreams to show me love
that I have never felt on this strange Earth
And left me weeping when I awoke
Hours upon hours
Over a love so strong
and unfathomable to creatures
Is my passion calling too?
Please come back,
My love,
Outside of time
Nothing else matters
All I need is you
19. Eros Prayer
Open your heart
And feel this love
So fierce it rips your heart open
Filling, overflowing
Oh dear God let your love inside
For all of you I shed blood tears
My soul would scream for a thousand years
If I never felt this love again
If I knew you couldn't feel this too
~
Oh dear Lord hold them
Sanctify their hearts
Lay your Holy Spirit upon them
Envelop them in your warm embrace
Cradle them in your womb
Break their hearts and get inside
Break their hearts and get inside
~
I say this prayer for all of you
From my heart
Allow yourself to feel
This Love
20. Closer Still...
I take your body into me
Made flesh by the fruit of woman's vine
and the wheat stalk's seed
part my lips and let my tongue know your flavor
caress my insides with your passion for me
come, find refuge in my depths
and rest, warmly in my sanctified heart
I drink your love into me
Body of my body
and receive into my being
the sacrifice of your entire self
in all that you could give
every drop of blood
You thirsted for my knowing
I thirst for you to be closer
closer still...
21. Desiderio
In another life
I could have found bliss in the worldly things.
Making love by French doors, cracked open,
on some Parisian balcony.
Billowing curtains and the smell of rain.
Thunder muffling tender gasps.
Finding ways to kill the pain
of ending up without you.
Desiring more...
It's never enough.
Bodies come together and pull apart--
Always left separated, alone, wanting again.
Crying out on my back, on the floor,
You yearned for my need.
Called me to more.
In the dark, you held me--
Whispered into the cracks of my broken heart.
My purpose was never mine to keep.
I surrendered my life to save another--
You pulled me from his grasp.
Maybe my last chance at being a mother.
I left him in my past.
I'm back in this place you keep calling me to.
A place that's not quite home.
In another life
I could have loved what the world had to give.
You knew my light would never be so bright
without bringing me into the dark.
To the gentle breezes of your urgings, I let myself bend and sway.
With joy, I surrender. I have no idea where we are going, but I'm with you all the way.
22.
Would we tremble and burst into light
Shatter into pieces
to truly conceive the truth of you
This mystery binds us all
As One
23.
I need the safety of your loving arms
Jesus hold me
When I can’t discern clearly
When I failed and need your mercy
I know you are still here, forgiving
Your love is higher
Did I cry because it was goodbye
Or did I cry for my heart’s desire
I love you first
Take my hand and lead me through the smoke
Cast away the shadows I chase
With your light
I need it, warm like fire
Come close and burn away
The strings that tie me
To anything that’s not of you
That leads me astray
Purify my heart
And ready me for what’s to come
24. The Almost Love
Rouse in me the almost Love
We get so close
A taste of what is real
Bound to this fallen world
Show me another kingdom
Speak to my skin the language of creation
With your fingertips
Deep in my bones
Screaming Yes from every pore
All that I am and ever have been
All that I will be
Opens before you
Not to take, but to set free
Surrender infinity
Into this eternal womb
Rouse in me the almost Love
Let’s taste the other side of death
25.
Abba, Father
When winter comes
Will we stand at your feet and wash them,
as children care for their parents,
When they are old and frail
Would we hold your hand and lead you?
Would we feed you?
Would we clothe you?
Hold you and clean you?
You came close, showed us your frailty
And we killed you.
We weep for we are wretched
26.
Experience has shaped me
Bitter, tired and withered
But somehow my heart has remained intact
My spirit is weary as my bones
The water is my home, the lifeblood
Called from the ocean to the heights of the mountains
To bring light to the darkness
His Love knows no limits
Not yielding to the constraints of time or space
No matter where my feet are planted on the earth
He forever walks with me
Residing in my heart
I will never walk alone
Trace His footsteps back to the Sea
I find him inside of me
With me always
I need not be anywhere but here
Nor for anything desire
Home is in my heart
And there, I have all I need
27. We Planted Roses in the Garden of Gethsemane
We Planted Roses in the Garden of Gethsemane
Outside of time
A promise, and a symbol of what is to come
A sacrifice, fulfilled
Tears enriched the soil forevermore
inside your heart, the garden now dwells
the seeds we planted, you and I
Now a whisper to your heart
We Planted Roses in the Garden of Gethsemane
While the flesh is weak
Strong are the petals
Awake with me in the night
Stay, awake with me
My Rose
I am forever in your heart.
**(Last night, while praying before sleep, I asked the Lord for help with something and called upon the Holy Spirit. These words came to me slowly and clearly: "We planted roses in the garden of Gethsemane". I'm not sure what it means, but it gives me a sense of peace. I'll understand soon.)🌹❤️
28.
Come you and seek peace in the heart of my fury
Your broken heart I’ll set ablaze
In all my glory, all my rage
Upon you in your darkest hour--
the white purifying fire of my loving gaze.
My love, consume me
As my love consumes you.
Come close and taste my wild flame.
29. This is My Heart's Last Song
Never cared much for earthly things
I've only ever craved
Unity with the uncreated
A divine union
To perhaps taste what is to come
Come into my heart
My Lord, My God
Let me feel
The ecstasy of your Divine Love
Through you
With you
In you
Make love to my heart
My soul hungers
For another soul to know my own
So deeply inside
They inhabit my entire being
Their soul in mine and mine in theirs
What to do with this
fascination with a creature?
Is saying thank you enough?
An ache is awakened
that can't be satisfied
With my tongue
I taste the skin
where heaven and earth kiss
Never-ending desire for the infinite
I stay present in the ache
and offer it to you
Come, untwist me
Restore my cold and hardened heart
to one of warm flesh like yours
(Oh, this is what it feels like.)
Tears erupt from my wrenched heart again
But I have Loved.
I have Loved here.
Help me heal the hearts
That walk upon the earth
Help me create a new world
Through Love, With Love
And In Love
There is nothing else.
No comments:
Post a Comment