Encountering Jesus during Holy Week - Aramaic Translations

I went into Holy Week with some pretty significant failures. To be honest, this was probably good because I felt like I had been going through the motions in prayer and in life and was lacking a feeling of remorse. I was even starting to feel a little bit of resentment and frustration toward God creeping in.

On Holy Thursday, I spent some time with Jesus in adoration. Something happened that hasn't happened in 14 years! He spoke 4 words to me in Aramaic.

When I first sat down to spend some time with him, he rejoicingly said, "You're here!". I don't think this is meant in the sense that I was physically there, but more so that I've finally come to meet him and his heart, and it's taken all my life to get here to this point. 

I started firing off a bunch of questions and he pretty much told me to be cool. Haha. 

He kept assuring me, saying, "I am here." ... "I am here." And he is always here. He is in my heart. 

Instead of answering questions right away, he knelt down, and with a green towel over his shoulder, he washed my feet, just as the priest did for 12 of our parishioners earlier during mass. He did that in silence for a short time. Afterward, in response to an important question, he led me through with more questions to ponder. Was I ready to let go of certain things? What fear was blocking me from letting go? What was I really holding on to that would be there if the other thing was not? As for the question that has been weighing heaviest on my heart... ultimately, I had to answer the question of whether, if all the who's and where's and why's were taken care of, would I really be ready in my heart for the things I was asking for?

Jesus spoke 4 words in Aramaic to me again (which hasn't happened in 14 years). He had me repeat it with him multiple times as he drew focus to my heart. Then (even though I was questioning when I first got there how long I should stay and how will I know when I should go), he told me to go in peace and made sure I knew that it was time and he had given me what I needed in that time.

I am no Aramaic scholar, but I did some translating the next morning on Good Friday of the words he spoke the night before. I'm not sure if the actual translation of the words is what is important. It's what I get from it that is really meaningful. Some people may think I'm just nuts, but I don't care. It means something to me and brings me where I need to be. It creates a change in my heart that moves me closer to Him. And this brings others closer to him as well. I know that at least some people don't think I'm nuts (haha) and have even been moved and inspired. One lovely woman in particular that I became acquainted with from the CIY (Catechism in a Year) group has asked me for suggestions in deepening her Catholic Christian belief (as well as nutrition and training advice after seeing my progress!). What I shared with her was very helpful for her and I'm glad I could have an impact.

The 4 words Jesus spoke sounded like:

Lamach, Sedach, (undiscernable vowel sounds), Elee (?)

The most prominently and loudly spoken were the first 2, the others were harder to make out.

Lama (In Aramaic, Lema) basically means "why have I been kept?" The "ch" is a gutteral consonant.

Sedach (Sdq/tzadaq/tsedeq) - Righteous. Uprightness, lawful, rightful. Legitimacy. "Hereditary right". 

in Aramaic, (Saddiq) - “What is right. What is true.” It is known as the way of life.

Sedeq/sedaqah - Justice. Righteousness. Concepts in terms of relationships: between man and man according to social customs and norms, and between man and God according to a special covenant.

Vowels - (Long sigh or breath or wind with no consonants). I translated this myself as being YAWEH or YHVH, the proper name for God, since I've heard that the true name of God is unutterable and like a wind.

Elee/Eli/Eloi - Eli/Eloi - My God, My Heart

Eleos (oil) - soothing. Eleison - Mercy (soothe me, comfort me, take away my pain, show me your steadfast love).

My takeaway from these translations?

Basically this...

Why have I been kept - What is true - God - My heart

He is telling me to open my heart... Why has he been kept away? Open it to what is true and right. To let God into my heart. He IS my heart.

(Also, I might ask myself “why have I been kept? For what purpose am I here?”)

I know that this is true, because as I was explaining everything to my aunt and I read out loud to her what I had translated in the end, I started crying.

Jesus asked me, "Are you ready to love right now? If all is taken care of, are you ready? 

....

These messages usually come to me in meditation or prayer... in moments of silence, when I reach out with my heart, and the way I "hear" him is by way of the heart. Sometimes I've heard things audibly and sometimes I see visions... glimpses or thoughts that come into my mind. 

My first vision of Jesus: "Don't Forget Who You Really Are" - Dancing with Jesus (2009)

I know not everyone experiences that or can understand necessarily, but that doesn't matter, and He speaks to us all in ways that are best for us and in ways that we can understand. If any of my testimonies so much as touch the heart of another, then that means everything. And maybe the only person whose heart will hear it is me. That's okay, too. 

Read the word of God. Understand through that how he speaks to us. Pray in your own way and show up to worship at mass. What's important is your personal connection and relationship with him, because He is a person. Just spend time with Him. When you pray... ask less, and open your heart more, so he can see everything. Even the things you might try to hide. His love is unfathomable to us humans and His mercy is always greater than our weaknesses.

ETA (4/6/24)!!!:

I just realized that one of the meanings of the word sedaq/sedaqah (one of the words Jesus recently spoke to me in Aramaic while drawing attention to the heart) actually means justice (and righteousness). That is also the meaning of the pale ray in the image of Divine Mercy as Jesus revealed to St. Faustina. 

She said, “During prayer I heard these words within me: 

“The two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the water that makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls ...

These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when my agonized Heart was opened by a lance on the Cross.” (Diary, 299).

I also heard Jesus’s words within me and revealed in a very similar way. He was gesturing toward the heart. Was he telling me about his divine mercy?