What does Jesus want from me that I'm not giving him? What can I sacrifice for the good of another? Better yet--how can I transform something in myself for the good of another? What makes me squirm in discomfort to think of giving up or changing? That's how I know where my heart is--and that's what needs transmutation, so I can be closer to Christ. What does a healed version of that thing look like? The word sacrifice means "To Make Holy". How can I not only give up something, but be changed within? How can I be more holy?
Have I been putting any of these principles of transmutation into practice in my life lately? I think I have, in fact. Especially when it comes to transmuting distorted or disordered desire--lust--into something spiritually nourishing.
I've recently met a couple people through the Bible in a Year/Catechism in a Year groups who I'm really grateful to have met. Yes, they are men, and yes, initially they approached me with sexual interest or invitations, but my response in the moment where it could have gone either way--a spiritually damaging relationship of use and reductivism, or a spiritually nourishing relationship of sacredness--transformed the entire dynamic. People feel safe sharing things with me, and I would never shame anyone or make them feel dirty or guilty. However, I did not encourage the continuation of behaviors that are damaging, but instead emphasized the sacredness of sexuality. One of them has actually become a sort of prayer accountability partner now. We encourage one another to pray the rosary, go to confession, go to mass, and our discussions definitely go deeper than it would have if I indulged certain behaviors. Now, it was a bit of a challenge at first, because I'm kind of like Roger Rabbit with the old "Shave and a Haircut"--It's kind of hard for me to resist things like that, and not take them to levels that are UNHEARD of. Lol. But, I am proud of this. It may seem like a little thing, but I actually think it's a pretty big deal. We are all transformed for the better.
I feel like the theme lately in my life is transmutation. This time of Lent is a perfect time to really focus on things in my life that are possibly twisted and in need of transmutation. I will likely be meditating on this a lot over the next several weeks.
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