God calls me to healing by the strangest of avenues...
Even if I'm like, "Oh, I think I'll go back into filmmaking!"... He's like, "No, honey... you ARE the wounded healer."
I went out for a walk tonight, asking God why he has put me in the situation I'm in. Why I find myself in a similar position so often in life. (I swallow my own grief and wounds... sometimes caused by the very person who comes to me or who presents themself in need of my prayers.) No matter MY heart and it's aching... I must rise above myself to take care of others.
Jesus sat with me on my porch tonight. I told him I love him between sobs. I realize what my eyes are actually looking at in front of me. a boulder on a small hillside shaped like a heart. I know he loves me, too, and he approves.
I'm so tired of not being the one who is loved. I'm tired of fixing the broken... and yet I love the broken that you give to me, Lord. I still give you gratitude.
Help me and guide me, Lord. May I know what to do or say so I may help the souls in need.
I am your servant... I am your friend. I am your beloved.
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