I've lost quite a few "friends" and acquaintances since I've come back to my Catholic faith (which is expected), but some may have also passed judgment on me after noticing I'm not perfect or a beacon of holiness, which I still strive for but often fail at.
No, I am not perfect. But no one is. One thing I am is honest, though. And when I fail or walk towards error, I am quick to try and correct my path.
Are we truly living as if God is inside us? Are we loving others as He loves us? Are we obeying His commandments? Do we extend God's light outward from within us? Do we invite sinners to our table and embrace them, forgive them, and share with them the truth of God's love? Or do we reject them? Are we living in a bubble of "delulu" sinlessness? Are we using our gifts to help HEAL others and bring others into relationship with God?
Each of our spiritual paths is a unique journey of struggles and strides and setbacks. And let me tell you... No matter how many times I fall, I will always get back up. (Thanks to Father Mike Schmitz for teaching me about "Nunc Coepi"!) With cheeks dirty from mascara-muddied tears, I will come back to Jesus as many times as it takes. Every day I get to choose Him again and again.
Satan wants to tell me that it's hopeless and that I'll always be a wh*re and that I'll never change. That my life is empty and that I'm not good enough. That I'm broken beyond repair. I reject this with every fiber of my being.
When it comes to being an image of holiness or sainthood, do not look to me for that. But can you look to me to assure you of God's love for you? Yes, indeed. Can you look to me to accept you and to love you? You sure can. I may not be good at loving myself all the time, but I’m better at it than I used to be. Jesus gives me my strength. I trust in His mercy, and I can openly receive God’s love. And I can GIVE love. I am good at that! I must give...
(Also, if you know what song my title's lyrics are from... 👍) ;-)
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