I’ve always felt that I was being watched over and taken care of. Things seem to happen in my life where someone or something intervenes so that everything always works out. I took this for granted and had even cut myself off spiritually at times, but it is in those times that I was probably being watched over most closely. Cradled, even.
I have a spirit guide that is very close to me. A psychic has seen him, and I know he’s there because I have seen him, too. I love him. I miss him. I feel that my old tired soul has been around for a long time, and he has always remained with me. At times, I even considered the possibility that maybe in a past incarnation he may have been Jesus (or Christ consciousness), but I cannot validate that. All I know is that I feel that I am missing something… a piece of myself…and that I had this piece once before, but now it is gone. Maybe not entirely *gone*, but just unable to find it here in the physical. I feel that he was once part of me and that we shared a very strong, ethereal love together. I can only reconnect to that feeling at times in dreams and deep in my soul. I want to feel that again in this lifetime. I remember feeling it. I do remember.
In meditation, I’ve spoken to him. I told him how I miss him and how hard this physical life is. I told him about my fear of death. But he assured me that just as we do not remember the moment we “came in” to consciousness--the moment going from not being conscious to being conscious--we shouldn’t imagine that we will experience consciousness ending. We are eternal. Nothing ever disappears completely, but changes to different states. We are made from dust and will return to dust. There is no time, only infinity. I must learn to relish the fact that I AM young and alive. That my being is fresh with opportunity, to learn new things, to love other people and to BE HERE NOW.
We forget that we've been given a gift to experience this physical reality in a body… to feel, to touch, to taste, to make love. To create and to PLAY. To connect with others and be able to express love. To do all of these wonderful things as reflections of the universe. Sometimes we spend too much time in meditation or thinking on our past lives or journeying to other realms. These things are wonderful tools that help us along our soul's path, but if we spend too much time not being present here now, it just becomes another sort of escapism similar to drugs or alcohol. We have to be present in the very bowels of being... no matter how hard it is or how much it can hurt. The universe doesn't perceive things in terms of "good" or "bad". Everything just leads our soul to experience what we are supposed to experience, by whatever means possible.
Someday, when we are discarnate we could look upon this life and our experiences like a child emptying Halloween candy onto the floor. All the experiences are different pieces of candy. Some of the most painful experiences are sometimes the best pieces of candy. Pain means you FELT something. Pain means you Loved. Sure, SweetTarts are ok and there are a lot of them scattered all around... but they're no fucking Reese's.
Ya dig?
Don’t ever be afraid of falling in love. That’s why we are all here, really.
Love unabashedly.
Love recklessly, even.
It’s the most important thing we can share as human beings.
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When we think of God giving new names, we might think of Abraham, Sarah and Peter, to name a few. When God does this, the new name represent... -
In the past, I had a couple of very poignant and detailed dreams where I was getting married to someone that I didn't want to and it was...
...you were wild, where are you now...
ReplyDeleteVery impressive Nicole. Interestingly, I just finished a book titled, Divine Sex by Philo Thelos (Divine Love was the original title),which shares a similar message and also debunks the myth propogated by western religion that sex is evil or dirty, in most situations etc, and refutes those arguments using the bible's original languages' meanings themselves, which are all almost the opposite of what almost all churches and parishes teach! Additionally he discusses the mystical bennifits of love and sex. So, thank you for that beautiful confirming prose! TC, Clark Powers
ReplyDeleteMost of the words in the bible are taken out of context or are taken too literally, when they are meant as a metaphor to get across a message to explain metaphysical concepts by physical and tangible means.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I believe sex is spiritual and can be used as a vehicle to transcend, therefore is sacred. Western sex IS dirty. It lacks spirituality, making it little more than a 10-minute skin-slapping shallow act and leaving more to be desired.
It's unfortunate that the unrestrained and beaming intensity of experiencing a soul-to-soul connection with someone is so often reduced to a short-lived carnal and animalistic act. A quickie can be fun every now and then... but there is a boring, insipid shallowness to encounters like that. Personally, I want so much more at this point in my life. So few individuals actually have the patience to explore the more spiritual aspects of sex and open up completely. People fear vulnerability so they play roles... they take their egos with them to bed. I've always had an interest in Tantra and the spiritual path of Tantra, but again, not many people have the patience...they just want to cum and collapse into a heaving sweating heap of flesh, never really setting their soul ablaze in all its glory. I need to open up all parts of myself and share that with another... I need someone who will feed off of my passionate energy and fill me with theirs... really push the boundaries of this existence. Sometimes it's exhilarating to get a peek into another dimension.
Speaking of peeking into another dimension during sex, I think I may have gone out of body during an orgasm while listening to Lateralus by Tool (lol). It's like your body doesn't even exist for a moment and your "essence" is up above it... you see flashes of white and your essence merges with the other person's above your bodies. The problem is that a lot of people won't allow themselves to open up. They carry around their emotional and psychological scars. They need to heal themselves and clear away any negative emotional ties in order to experience ecstatic bliss.
To experience the overflowing power of loving, one needs to free the emotions and express the heart...really let go and breathe into the whole body instead of just into the neck. There's always more to explore and learn.
Very well said, Nicole. I have studied Tantra and Sry Yantra, so I am very familiar with what you wrote and couldn't agree more ;-) Every time I learn something new about you, I find you even more exceptional! TC, Clark
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