Love Language

I've always had an innate knowledge that sex was the vehicle to transcendence, the key to our souls' true expression of our deepest beingness through divine love.

I had always kept a reservoir of this intense, consuming energy untapped. Afraid, even myself, of its immensity and power. Not sure if I could set my soul ablaze in all its glory in this realm, and be who I truly am.

I remember. I know I was supposed to forget, as per the agreement for my coming here, but like the rebel I am, I must have crossed my divine little fingers behind my back. 

I remember something I have not yet found on this planet. I got a little taste of it every time my body would shiver in ecstasy, so I wanted to taste it again and again, trying so hard to find it...to finally open the door back to home.

I will no longer waste my time holding back for those who would not appreciate my gift. I do want so much to share my gift, but I really want to feel my true existence, open up completely and push the boundaries of this realm...peek into other dimensions.

I'm tired of "missing" something that has been within all along, and I'm ready to find mirrors, instead of searching for my shadow. I am love, and I am OF LOVE. So are we all.

May we fall completely and totally in love with ourselves  and find God in our lovemaking.

The Purifier (Hopi Prophecy)

The Purifier (Hopi Prophecy)

Ghosts walking the city streets

with heavy feet

The jaguar speaks secrets to the sheep

of a red eye

watching over from the sky…

Awaken, sleepers

Spirit fire keepers

Encrypted in our blood the messages of ancients

Remember the old ways

We are warriors

Walking between worlds with strange beasts

Reunited with our star sisters,

Together we build a new world

Immaculate Earth.

The Earthbound Starseed's Lament

Weary wanderers, fallen seeds

So far from where you've been.
You've traveled down and lost yourselves
among the grains of sand.
You've hidden in the shadows
Even cowered from the light.
When will you awaken
to your divine birthright?
Beings of the waters living,
do you not see your own
reflections in one another
and ripple from pebbles thrown?
Remember who you really are...
You're loved, so BE HERE NOW.
It's almost time for the curtain call,
prepare to take your bow.

Angel

A while ago, a friend gave me a copy of the complete Conversations with God (trilogy) by Neale Donald Walsch.  In it, there was an old bookmark with an angel on it.  The angel was my exact likeness.  She has my features and some of my mom's features... the eye shape and everything.  Here is an excerpt from the bookmarked page (p.31)...

My purpose in creating you, My spiritual offspring, was for Me to know Myself as God.  I have no way to do that *save through you*.  Thus, it can be said (and has been many times) that My purpose for you is that *you* should know yourself as *Me*

Astral Lover or Lucid Dream?

Edit 10/14/22: 

Content warning - 

If you choose to read on, this post details an experience of a sexual interaction with a spirit. I do not condone this and realize at this point, that as loving and beautiful as it seemed at the time and as "special" as it made me feel, ultimately this experience was demonic. I fully regret this experience and I advise against engaging in this. 

Earlier today I took a 30 minute nap before getting ready to go out.  I had my alarm set so I wouldn't oversleep, and during the 9 minutes the snooze button gives me between it's annoying buzzing, I had a rather strange experience. I was in that half-asleep state of consciousness and aware of my physical body lying in my bed. Slightly startled at first, I realized that it felt like I was being held by someone and I couldn't move my body.  Very quickly, that tension dissipated because I felt it was a loving embrace and I sank into it.  I still had my eyes mostly closed and didn't want to open them fully yet because I was afraid that I would lose the sensations in that state of consciousness.

I let the feeling happen.  It was a familiar presence.  I felt the energy of this being on top of me...gently touching my skin... holding my face and kissing my neck.  I tilted my head back and felt slow, passionate kisses from my neck to my lips. His body contoured to mine perfectly and we moved like waves.  I asked him (not verbally) to make love to me.  I felt our ethereal bodies going through the motions of making love, but my physical body was not moving.  It's hard to explain this sensation, but when I felt him enter me, the feeling was coming from WITHIN ME.  It wasn't like physical sex at all... it was like merging with pure love.  This didn't last long, however.  As soon as we started, a female voice began speaking monotonously like reading instructions over an intercom and all I remember hearing were the words "eternal damnation".  I think I asked him what she was saying, but he stopped and I felt sad.  I think it's something he is not supposed to do when interacting with the physical realm, so maybe it was a warning. He left soon after and when he did, I opened my eyes. 

I'm not sure what to make of this, but it felt real.  It wasn't until after I had been out and about for an hour or so that I started to doubt it was an astral experience and that it maybe was just a dream.  I've never really felt anything like it.  I have been opening back up to connecting with my guides again lately, and I imagine that this familiar spirit might be the same one who always seems to come up in my visions.

Self-healing Meditation

"When you know that all is light, you are enlightened."

That was the saying written on my little Yogi tea bag this morning.  Oddly enough, that was the very essence of my experience of today as a whole.

After a pretty good work out, I decided to sit down and meditate, which I hadn't done with full focus for a rather long time. 

I've come to realize that even if a vision of a spiritual nature has colorful lights and sounds and profound images, none of it means anything if you don't LEARN something from it.  In order for it to have any significance, it should make you find something within yourself which needs work, and you must find power within yourself to take responsibility and become better from it.  Otherwise, it's just a bunch of pretty pictures, and no "enlightenment" is really experienced.  In practical terms, to enlighten something, you shine a light on darkness, exposing what was hidden.  There must first be darkness.  To enlighten is to make it seen, to make it "come to light".  Then you do work.  It is not given to you.

I began by working on clearing blockages and past hurt associated with parts of my body.  Muscles store memory, and tension makes for blocked energy channels... all tied up like knots.  My goal was to truly open up to receive love and light.  A familiar guide came to me during my meditation and she appeared as a goddess surrounded by light.  She had long dark hair and a strong, confident presence.  She was helping me to heal myself as she laid me back into her arms, my body partly submerged in water.  She was cupping water in her hand and pouring it over my body. 

After I sat up, she stood before me and kissed my head and let me know that I am OF LOVE and filled with light.  I had a protective barrier around me, which repelled things that were of low energy vibrations.  I confronted a particular negative energetic being and built up my confidence in my own will and affirmed that I am made of light and love. I didn't let my will falter or my light dim.  I knew this darkness well, as it has followed me all of my life, almost as if it lusted after me, and I would so often give in to it, as it wanted. I stood proud and firmly, telling it that I belong to the light.  I even told it to go to love and light, itself.  I felt it shrink down and cower. I felt an ecstatic sensation of being "embraced by light".  It was an amazing feeling.  Like goosebumps from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and throughout my insides.  It was like I was moving through something or something was moving through me, like a wave.  Something that had always tried to come through, but couldn't pass.  It was as if loving light energy burst from every pore on my skin.  I didn't feel my limbs anymore, but only felt myself lifted.  When I opened my eyes, I slowly began wiggling my fingers and toes.  I stood, drank some water, and noticed as I passed by a mirror, that some sort of darkness had been lifted from my face.  My eyes were bright, my skin even seemed to be glowing.  

I don't believe one needs to be part of some elite group or quantify their skills at healing as a "level 3 master" or some such hogwash.  What it comes down to is the intention of love to help facilitate healing when you pray or meditate.

 

I know I must continue to do this healing work.  With this, I will better be able to be a vehicle for helping to heal others as well, especially in my massage practice.  This experience was renewing and much needed.  I'm very thankful for feeling this today.  :)

Are you killing your inner child? ... And getting away with it?

Most of the nation is not only shocked by today's outcome of the lengthy and drawn out case against Casey Anthony, but emotionally drained as well.  Some are downright sick of hearing about it, and some people are very angry that justice was not done for little Caylee Anthony.  Rather than becoming emotional or angry or pointing fingers of blame, what can we learn about ourselves from the Casey Anthony trial?
What metaphor do you think this might reflect within ourselves?

Many metaphors can be derived from this, involving the concepts of truth and justice.  In black and white, the most prevalent thing I see about the situation itself is that it represents a child, an innocent, being abused and killed and there is no accountability or responsibility being taken.

If the events of the outer world are energetic ripples of our inner state, what is this case in particular showing us about our inner states? 

I know there is a part of myself that neglects and abuses the innocent child that exists within me.  It happens over and over, yet never do I take responsibility to realize this abuse and stop it.  It continues on and I keep GETTING AWAY WITH IT.  It happens every time I cut myself down or degrade myself in little ways.  Every time I lose faith in myself or fail to see my worth, when I don't feel I deserve something or when I feel I need to stop fantasizing and grow up.  I deny the child, silence it, and keep it in a dark, enclosed place.

Can you think of any ways in which you might be abusing your inner child?  Have you denied him/her?  Have you pushed the child down into some unseen place or forgotten him or her?  Are you currently punishing this child for some reason?

Are too many of us doing this without even realizing or caring?  Can we begin fixing this?  We need to get our minds right.  Everything starts from within.  "As within, so without".

The world is sick.  It needs healing.  Let's start within ourselves.